Bubblegum Makes Demeter Run
by Araedia
Summary: Demeter's making herself at home in the Underworld again... and Hades doesn't like it. He comes to the mortal world to find the perfect instrument of torture... guess what it is?


**This is no # 4 of the 'gods end up in a supermarket' series started by ****Strata Of The Travellers****. Rated T for the ...um... dodgy nature of the shop Hades ends up in.**

Hades hummed as he walked along the street. Being out in the sunshine was doing wonders for his mood, and we all know how moody he is, _especially_ when Demeter is visiting.

Then he remembered _why_ exactly he was here in the mortal world.

"You!" he said, jabbing his finger at a passerby, while putting on his best I-am-the-evil-God-of-the-Underworld-and-you'd-better-not-mess-with-me look. "Where can I find better instruments of torture than in the Underworld?" "I...um..." The poor guy was clueless. And speechless. He made a run for it.

Hades rolled his eyes. I mean, one look and he runs like a rabbit? Then he heard someone else speak form next to him. "Three lanes in, and turn to your left." The guy winked (_Winked at the God of the Underworld ?_) and walked off. Hades was still taking in the sight of him. Black pants, black shirt, black shoes, socks, black cap, black skin, black hair, black _mascara... _for Zeus's sake, _why?_ Hades had a reason, he was God of the Underworld, but why him?

Hades started walking in the direction he pointed out, thinking _Can I pick up some acolytes for the Underworld from here?_

When he stopped before the shop, he lifted an eyebrow. _The decor's pretty good... though it could take some lessons from the Underworld. _He stepped in. And stared.

There were handcuffs hanging all around him and uncomfortably tight-looking spiked leather women's outfits. And other things he couldn't even begin to think up a use for.

A weird guy walked out from behind the counter. "What can I get you, sir?'

"Something painful." No one said Hades wasn't blunt.

"Er... yes, is this your first time coming here? You should have brought your girlfriend along."

"Why in the Underworld would I bring my girlfriend in here?" _Though I wonder if I can get Persephone into one of these outfits._ He immediately thought the better of it. She'd go whining to her over-protective mother again and he _couldn't_ deal with Demeter. His thoughts turned back to the reason why he was in here, buying instruments of torture. "I'm looking for something for my mother-in-law."

The guy looked nauseous. His _mother-in-law_? He stammered, "Y- you're doing_ it_ with your _mother-in-law?_" "Of course. She's one of the most annoying people I've ever met."

The guy was already thinking of ways to get rid of this disgusting guy. "Um... maybe she's too old for anything like this?" "Of course not, she's immortal!"

Seeing the guy's face, Hades wondered if he had left anything out. Of course, his evil laugh!

"Mu-ha-ha-ha!"

"Okay, that's it! SECURITY!"

0o0o0

Hades got up, shaking his head. He couldn't believe it. No, it NEVER happened. He _wasn't_ just thrown out into the street by two mortals. No. Never.

Nemesis. He needed Nemesis right now! Maybe he could offer her a visit to the Underworld or... did she owe him in any way?

Trying to remember, he looked up. He had been walking blindly, and was now standing in a supermarket. He was about to walk out when he saw a girl and a guy blocking the entrance.

The girl was chewing on something. Suddenly, she blew out a huge pink bubble (Hades was reminded of Persephone's pink underpants with a shudder) and...

BOOM! It burst all over the poor other guy's face.

Imagine a huge, pink, sticky bubble, filled with someone else's saliva bursting on your face. Disgusting!

Hades suddenly grinned evilly. Imagine a huge, pink, sticky bubble, filled with someone else's saliva bursting on Demeter's face.

"What is that thing and where can I get it?" he shouted. The girl looked at him, eyebrows raised. "It's just bubblegum, dude. From over there." She pointed towards a counter.

0o0o0

An hour later, Hades returned to the Underworld with several cartons.

0o0o0

An hour later, Demeter ran away screaming from the Underworld, her face pink and dripping.

**A/N: Not a big fan of bubblegum myself, so... I think it's the perfect torture weapon!**

**Please R&R!**


End file.
